Another Bad Accountant Joke

I received an email today with this headline and I couldn’t resist opening it!

Here’s the apparent joke:

The Four Immutable Laws of Accounting:
– Trial balances don’t.
– Bank reconciliations never do.
– Working Capital doesn’t.
– Return on Investments never will.

I can see why they call it “bad”. It was a US based book from a company called Bay Street Group.

Anyway, I thought I’d see what else was out there and see how big the industry for accountant jokes was:

I only found these two on Amazon UK:

Book 1: The Best Ever Book of Accountant Jokes

Highlighted jokes:
Why do accountants wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace.

An accountant and his wife were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.
The accountant turned to his wife and said: “When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff.”
“Why would you want me to do that?,” asked his wife.
“I figure that you’ll eventually remarry, and I don’t want some asshole using my stuff,” replied the accountant.
The accountant’s spouse said: “What makes you think I’d marry another asshole?”

Did you hear about the accountant who wore two jackets when he painted his house?
The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”

Why do people take an instant dislike to Accountants?
To save time later.

Why do Auditors make great Accountants?
They took up space in school.

Do you find these funny? I’m not too sure how accountant related they are? You could probably replace the word “accountant” with the classic English man, Irish Man or Scots man!

I think this is the purpose of the book – to use typical re-purposed “victim” type jokes, although it doesn’t pretend to be anything else!.

Book 2: What Obama Knows About Accountants

This book is an attempt at Political humour.

What does Barack Hussein Obama know about accountants? In this book, he explains everything he knows about accountants and he lists all of the new jobs he’s created for accountants during his administration. Obama then outlines his plan to create more jobs for accountants if he wins this upcoming election in November 2012. All of his words, charts, and graphs included in this book!

Can you do better?
I’d love to hear your accountant jokes – please feel free to send any using the form below:

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Stuart Warner, Financial Fluency Ltd